Welcome

Above photo: The first ever photo of Function (Susan) and Function (Paul) together in the SFX staffroom shortly after their metaphorical parabolic life curves intersected. Note the fire extinguisher in the background, a precursor of Tusk Productions once having been located in the 1901 Hamilton Fire Station perhaps.

Welcome to the Novocastrian Tales page from Tusk Productions. This page is named in honour of our national bestseller Novocastrian Tales. In some senses, we are redefining the words Novocastrian and Tales to mean whatever we want them to mean at any particular point in time. Defining terms is a very mathematical construct. In this case, Tales will be defined as an independent variable. Expect the unexpected!

Our Novocastrian Tales page promises an eclectic mix of literary and musical creations by Paul F Walsh OAM and Susan Harvey for your free reading and listening pleasure throughout Australia and the world.

At Tusk Productions, we have a track record for redefining words. For instance, all of our students know that MATHEMATICS is just a long word for FUN, but do they know that TRUE LOVE can be found at the intersection point of a pair of exotic quadratic equations?

Who knew that mathematics could be so romantic?

Have you heard the one about two quadratic functions whose loci dictated that their metaphorical parabolic life curves should never meet until they finally intersect after 30 years of invisible parallel closeness?

Our story of romantic curvature begins at the beginning.

In the beginning, there was the light of ALGEBRA. And then there was Donald Trump! Only joking, let’s get back to the light.

The light of ALGEBRA was first encountered by Function (Susan) and Function (Paul) at the Mater Hospital, Waratah.

Paul and Susan left the hospital to grow up at either end of Lambton Park. To this day, they share the same childhood memories: playing on the retired, rusting steamroller; exploring the Theory of Levers and Applied Splinters on the old wooden see-saw; searching for books in Lambton Library. But never together! It was as if their metaphorical parabolic life curves kept passing through the same Cartesian points on the number plane at slightly different times to each other.

If ever an edifice could attract two young mathematicians to clandestine calculus and tangential kissing, it would be the Lambton Park rotunda, but every function must act in accord with the Cartesian equation of its locus, and Function (Susan) and Function (Paul) appeared to have an asymptote permanently drawn between them. This asymptote could not exist for parabolae in two dimensions but Function (Susan) and Function (Paul) were living in four dimensions. No matter how close they approached each other they simply could not meet until time and the other three dimensions allowed their metaphorical parabolic life curves to intersect.

Susan studied at Newcastle Girls’ High School and Paul studied at St Pius X College. Remarkably, Susan and Paul studied exactly the same subjects for the HSC including Latin, although there was a slight divergence in that one studied Ancient History while the other studied Modern History. Can you guess which one of them is more ancient than modern? Function (Paul) did pass through Newcastle Girls’ High for a history film during this time period, but Function (Susan) was elsewhere engaged on the educational number plane during his parabolic transit.

Function (Paul) and Function (Susan) then went on to study mathematics at the University of Newcastle. They managed to coexist within the Faculty of Mathematics for some time without ever approaching each other.

After university, Function (Paul) and Function (Susan) independently projected their concavity into the teaching profession. Paul worked in the Catholic system while Susan worked in the State system, each in accord with their apparently divergent loci.

THEN, thirty years after first greeting the light of ALGEBRA, the two metaphorical parabolic life curves met at St Francis Xavier’s College, Hamilton. Paul and Susan were stunned to learn how much they had in common and how often they had managed to NOT meet each other.

One particular thing that Susan and Paul did have in common was poetry. Paul was writing it in Lambton Park, and Susan was avidly reading it. Perhaps poetic licence is yet a fifth dimension within the mathematics recounted in this tale of their romantic curvature. Susan introduced Paul to the works of Kahlil Gibran, and she rapidly became his literary muse eventually inspiring the national bestseller Novocastrian Tales. The Novocastrian Tales project raised the funds to build Yallarwah Place, the Aboriginal Accommodation Centre at John Hunter Hospital.

Two years after finally meeting, Susan and Paul were married in a blue-collar backyard in Lambton before a guest list that included Catholic hyperbolae and Masonic exponentials. At their wedding reception, equations were seen to dance with solutions in egalitarian celebration of independent variables finally coming together as one. A lonely, unemployed asymptote was seen to be sleeping on a nearby park bench.

Function (Susan) and Function (Paul) are now rarely out of each other’s sight. Their loci have become one locus within a marital domain, and their children, Elephant Press and Tusk Productions, are living proof that MATHEMATICS is not only a long word for FUN but a poetic turning point for true Cartesian literary romance.

So, good and faithful Tusk students, please take note of this exciting FUN FACT from the mathematics of life: TRUE LOVE can be found at the intersection point of a pair of exotic quadratic equations when metaphorical parabolic life curves finally meet.

HAPPY SOLUTIONS, EVERYBODY!